Forgetting to Breathe

Sometimes I forget to breathe.

And it seems like it’s a common problem for a lot of us. It’s one of most repeated cues I give the athletes I coach. When things get hard and weight gets heavy, we focus on whatever is right in front of us, losing our grasp on everything except for the unbearable task that seems too big and weighty and impossible and overwhelmingly challenging. Instead of holding on to the essentials of how to perform the fundamental actions well, our minds become so consumed with moving something or doing something or fighting through something that we forget the most basic of all functions and we hold our breath.

At the beginning of this big year of transition for me, I began to experience some painful physical symptoms. I thought I had food poisoning, and when that didn’t subside in a timely manner, I just knew I had the flu. More than a week later, I was convinced that my stomach was in the middle of a revolt of epic proportions. I sought medical advice when I couldn’t eat without great discomfort for several weeks. Meds were issued, tests were run. I was fine. And still the problem persisted.

I was frustrated and distressed. Running helped. My own body was seemingly my enemy. I finally reached a point of crisis: I couldn’t (wouldn’t) continue to stay on meds the rest of my life. I couldn’t continue without them. I prayed for wisdom and consulted websites and my husband. And I came to the “A-ha” moment… I was allowing stress to control my life.

I started paying attention. At work I would begin to feel the discomfort rise, and I would pause to listen to my body. Sure enough, every time… I was holding my breath.

I began breathing again.

Being still. And inhaling. Remembering all the things I have to be grateful for. And exhaling.  

Breathe. Pause. Breathe more deeply. Slow. Rest. Breathe again.