But I was thinking about that during a monster of a workout today.* Mostly, I was thinking about how that excitement is already fading. Today, an article published doesn't make me as happy as it did yesterday. Tomorrow, even less so, I'm sure. Because that was yesterday's victory. I want more. Will another be published? Will it get more likes? Comments? Shares? Am I selfish? Too proud? Too egotistical?
How about you? Do you also find yourself wanting more? Not happy where you currently are in life? Continually looking for satisfaction? That next thing that you have to have that will be THE thing?
First, let me say, I believe that we were made to crave more. Made to never find complete satisfaction. Made with a gaping hole that we continue to throw things at, hoping it will be filled. I completely believe that we were made to search until we find our true satisfaction in God. I believe and have found to be true in my own life, as Blaise Pascal said in Pensees:
"There is a God shaped vacuum in the heart of every man which cannot be filled by any created thing, but only by God, the Creator, made known through Jesus."
Although I've found that deep, soul-satisfaction in God, I still want more. I can be content. The lack of satisfaction just causes me to continually push for more.
Sometimes it really bothers me. Why can't I just be happy with this (any!) achievement? Why am I never quite done?
But today I realized... that "must have more" mentality is exactly what makes me a good athlete. My desire for more means I want to run faster. I want to get one more rep. I want to lift heavier. I want to get a faster time than her, than him, than me yesterday.
I could be better. Could be faster. Could be stronger.
So, I guess I'm ok with getting no satisfaction. But I will continue to chase it.
*Part 1: 15 min. AMRAP of 10 wall balls, 10 box jumps, 10 burpees. Part 2: 5 Rounds for Time of 5 snatches, 10 tire flips, 15 incline push ups, 800M run