When are You DONE?

Please excuse this post...
It's one part one part pity party, one part 40 year old angst, one part self pep talk (hopefully).

When are you done? Just done. DONE. Done.

The goal has been set. The plan to reach it made and followed. Progress is painfully slow. (Literally, in my case when we're talking competitive CrossFit.) Day in and day out. What was once birthed from passion and fed by enthusiasm and dreams has become suffocating in its intensity. The joy in work has mellowed into the monotony of the grind.

Was this really my dream? Is this still my dream? Is it even possible? Because, I mean, I thought I'd be there by now. Maybe it's time to move on. Maybe this was just a passing whim. Maybe I was never meant to pursue this particular goal.

When I start feeling this way, here are some things I do...

1. Check my overall stress level and my diet/exercise/sleep habits. Extra sugar, missing workouts, not getting enough sleep can increase our stress levels. Stress will wear us out and leave us feeling tired and more emotional than normal.

2. Check the calendar (for females). Fluctuations in hormones can cause us to be a little, well, crazy.

3. Pray. (Of course this is ongoing.) I devote a little more time to asking for wisdom and peace about my goals.

4. Remember. What are the reasons I started working toward my goal in the first place? Do those reasons still exist?

5. Ask a trusted friend. Talking through what's on my mind helps me verbally walk through my goal, my conflict and how I'm feeling. Ask their honest opinion.

And then I remember-- this was my passion... is my passion. Maybe I just need to take a step back, take a vacation from my goal. What is it "they" say?
(I've seen it attributed to both Ralph Waldo Emerson and Steven Tyler)

The Background to this post: 
Today was one of those days. Well, really, it's been building for a few weeks.

Not quite this bad
My back has been bothering me. I don't know, maybe it had a something to do with a little event I did. So, I went to see a chiropractor for the first time in my life. And I was quite surprised to be able to see why my back has been uncomfortable. Let's just say, my spine is a little curvy where it should be straight and straight where it should be a little curved.

There was talk of months of treatment (ugh!), the opportunity for improved performance (yeah!)... and then soreness after the attempt to shift things back straight (ugh!).

Then the CrossFit Games site announced the schedule for this year's Open. I wasn't sure what competing as a masters athlete would be like, but when I saw the plans, I was less than thrilled: the top 200 competitors in each masters' age categories will enter the Masters Qualifier-- a four day online competition. Then the top 20 move on to the Games, the world-wide competition. Let me translate...

My goal was to qualify for Regionals. There is no regionals for master level athletes.

It's been more mental than anything. Add to that the stress of the last days before Christmas break, planning holiday travel, etc. etc...

It's also been the heaviest week in my lifting schedule, so my body is just tired, which can make my mind tired and my emotions thin.

I'm just going to wait. I'm not quitting. I'm hanging on to deload week-- lighter workouts. We'll be traveling, which means a change of scenery and some creative different kinds of workouts.

I'll be ok. I'll take a vacations. Relax a little. Refocus and pick the bar back up.


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