Actually, I was looking forward to the last 3 workouts of the competition. It was 15.5 that I was dreading. I really hate thrusters. But I surprised myself by excelling at the workout. The key was a steady row where I pulled hard and focused on slowing my breathing. For the thrusters, I broke them into smaller chunks, never thinking in terms of 27, 21, 15 and 9-- it was 10, 9, 8; and then 3 sets of 7; then 8 and 7; and finally all 9. Mentally, that helped me-- the work didn't seem too much or too hard. I finished with a time of 10:28; good enough for 2nd place.
I returned home, fairly frustrated, but not defeated. I just had dug myself a fairly deep hole. But half of the competition still remained.
Day 2 of competition, and I was definitely feeling my quads from the thrusters. I was also going alone because my husband/coach would be coaching his weekly Oly-style lifting class. It would be a long, lonely day, and I would be on my own to do last minute strategizing. The hardest part is not hearing anyone "in my corner" during the work. I rely heavily on hearing my husband's voice, commanding me to "pick up the bar!"
I wasn't devastated. I felt strangely ok. Maybe I was too resigned. Maybe I wasn't angry or frustrated enough. Maybe having a little fire would have fueled me to a better performance in the final WOD. Or maybe it would have caused me to fall apart.
At the last minute, they changed the chipper time and the row. We were given 12 minutes and only had to row 20 calories. I was disappointed. The row is my strength. Wall balls, I hate. But in competition, you cannot hate anything. I chipped away, placing somewhere in the middle of the pack and no where near where I needed to be to be close to the podium. I finished 5th place.
I very much finished with mixed feelings. On the one hand, I felt more matured through the process of this competition. I kept my emotions in check and stuck with strategy even when things spiraled out of control.
Moving forward, I'm not sure where I am, competitively speaking. In some aspects, I feel like I've proven myself-- even though I've not made any podium. I've worked hard, made some great progress and done things I've never thought I'd do. I'm enjoying coaching very much, and I could see myself shifting from athlete to coach. But on the other hand, I feel like I'm still so new to Crossfit and Olympic style lifting that I have far to go. And I just love the thrill of it.
Until I figure it out, I think I'll increase my milage. I'm really missing the long runs.