Tough Mudder X Miami 2018
The toughest mile on the planet.
At least that's what the Tough Mudder website boasts. In this case, I would have to agree.
Someone at Tough Mudder released a 100% discount code, so I, my husband and our kid (not biological, but pretty much family) were all able to race for the cost of parking.
Having been solely focused on training for ultras (running long distance with some lifting and Crossfit thrown in), sprinting a mile in between completing a 8 workout stations and 8 obstacles was not exactly in my wheelhouse. The closer it got to race start, the more I didn't want to do this monster.
We arrived, checked-in and were issued start times (which really didn't matter). The men began at 9am, the women were set to start at 10:30. When it was all said and done, there were only a total of 141 finishers in the open heats. A few minutes before the start of heat 1, they called the first 10 men to the starting line. Then they called for any other men who would like to be in the first heat. This was repeated for all open waves.
FIRST WORKOUT STATION
On "GO" competitors raced to the first workout station. In Miami, we faced 15 sandbag cleans (95 lb for the men/ 65lbs for the women). This was the heaviest 65lbs I've lifted in my life. Well, it wasn't the weight; it was the floppiness of the bag. I cleaned myself in the face multiple times. Then it was a sled pull and drag, then 15 box jump overs, followed by 15 pull- (or chin-) ups.
We had 4 minutes to complete station 1. I timed out with 8 pull-ups left and had to do the 200 meter jog of shame. (And it was a jog. Because after that workout station I could not breathe. I'm serious. 3 days after the race and my breathing muscles are still sore!)
FIRST SET OF OBSTACLES
We ran to "Hump Chuck," a slanted, slick wall that is only scaled after a short water crossing. Then sprinted to a burden run, where we carried a heavy atlas ball. After that it was another run to a "Berlin wall," "Just the Tip," and "Everest 2.0."
By this time, I really couldn't breathe. Again. Ok, I'm lying. The whole entire time I couldn't catch my breath.
SECOND WORKOUT STATION
15 air squats. Bear crawl (which should have been the easiest, but when you're bent in half with your head below your lungs and you already can't breathe... well, you get the idea). Walking lunges with a slosh pipe held overhead. 15 burpees over log.
SECOND SET OF OBSTACLES
"Hanging Tough" (mercifully, it was only a set of 4 rings to traverse monkey bar style). "Funky Monkey."
For me the obstacles were the easiest-- at least the first time through. Despite timing out and running the penalty, I did well enough (15th woman) to qualify for the finals. I was super excited. Until I realized that meant that after about 90 minutes of rest (in the heat of Miami), I would have to do the whole course over again... with a few minor changes-- they removed the burden run, but replaced the easier air squats with sandbag thrusters and the burpees with an over the shoulder atlas ball lift. BRU-TAL.
In the finals, I was able to successfully make it through the first workout station, a huge victory. But it proved to be very taxing. Plus, I ripped a callus on my hand open, which meant pain, raw skin, and blood (I'll spare you the picture). My body was feeling the effects of the day's effort, and by the time I made it to the end of the 2nd workout station I had not much left to give. I timed out there and moved on. And everything went downhill. Because both hands were now ripped and riddled with blood blisters where calluses should be, I had nothing left to grip. I failed the final 2 obstacles and did the jogs of shame. Ultimately, I was the last of the best to cross the final line. Dead Freaking Last.
Definitely the toughest mile I've ever done. Definitely a fun day.
At least that's what the Tough Mudder website boasts. In this case, I would have to agree.
Someone at Tough Mudder released a 100% discount code, so I, my husband and our kid (not biological, but pretty much family) were all able to race for the cost of parking.
Having been solely focused on training for ultras (running long distance with some lifting and Crossfit thrown in), sprinting a mile in between completing a 8 workout stations and 8 obstacles was not exactly in my wheelhouse. The closer it got to race start, the more I didn't want to do this monster.
We arrived, checked-in and were issued start times (which really didn't matter). The men began at 9am, the women were set to start at 10:30. When it was all said and done, there were only a total of 141 finishers in the open heats. A few minutes before the start of heat 1, they called the first 10 men to the starting line. Then they called for any other men who would like to be in the first heat. This was repeated for all open waves.FIRST WORKOUT STATION
On "GO" competitors raced to the first workout station. In Miami, we faced 15 sandbag cleans (95 lb for the men/ 65lbs for the women). This was the heaviest 65lbs I've lifted in my life. Well, it wasn't the weight; it was the floppiness of the bag. I cleaned myself in the face multiple times. Then it was a sled pull and drag, then 15 box jump overs, followed by 15 pull- (or chin-) ups.
We had 4 minutes to complete station 1. I timed out with 8 pull-ups left and had to do the 200 meter jog of shame. (And it was a jog. Because after that workout station I could not breathe. I'm serious. 3 days after the race and my breathing muscles are still sore!)
FIRST SET OF OBSTACLES
We ran to "Hump Chuck," a slanted, slick wall that is only scaled after a short water crossing. Then sprinted to a burden run, where we carried a heavy atlas ball. After that it was another run to a "Berlin wall," "Just the Tip," and "Everest 2.0."By this time, I really couldn't breathe. Again. Ok, I'm lying. The whole entire time I couldn't catch my breath.
SECOND WORKOUT STATION
15 air squats. Bear crawl (which should have been the easiest, but when you're bent in half with your head below your lungs and you already can't breathe... well, you get the idea). Walking lunges with a slosh pipe held overhead. 15 burpees over log.SECOND SET OF OBSTACLES
"Hanging Tough" (mercifully, it was only a set of 4 rings to traverse monkey bar style). "Funky Monkey."
For me the obstacles were the easiest-- at least the first time through. Despite timing out and running the penalty, I did well enough (15th woman) to qualify for the finals. I was super excited. Until I realized that meant that after about 90 minutes of rest (in the heat of Miami), I would have to do the whole course over again... with a few minor changes-- they removed the burden run, but replaced the easier air squats with sandbag thrusters and the burpees with an over the shoulder atlas ball lift. BRU-TAL.
In the finals, I was able to successfully make it through the first workout station, a huge victory. But it proved to be very taxing. Plus, I ripped a callus on my hand open, which meant pain, raw skin, and blood (I'll spare you the picture). My body was feeling the effects of the day's effort, and by the time I made it to the end of the 2nd workout station I had not much left to give. I timed out there and moved on. And everything went downhill. Because both hands were now ripped and riddled with blood blisters where calluses should be, I had nothing left to grip. I failed the final 2 obstacles and did the jogs of shame. Ultimately, I was the last of the best to cross the final line. Dead Freaking Last.
Definitely the toughest mile I've ever done. Definitely a fun day.
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