Not my typical frivolous racing, training, general craziness post.
I'm typing this as my friend is in ICU fighting for her life.*
No, actually that's not true. She's not fighting. She's tired of fighting. So tired, in fact, that she put herself in ICU while attempting to end her life. Her story is actually more common than you would think.
According to the National Institute of Mental Health, in 2012, an estimated 43.7 million American adults were affected by a mental health illness. That's 18.6 percent of adults. And those are just the adults. Those are just the American adults. And those are just the cases that are reported.
Here's what I know. Some people who struggle with depression or anxiety or any mental health disorder feel that there's ultimately something broken and wrong in them. Many don't know what's wrong, what makes them sad, what makes them feel so broken. How do you explain to a person who's never felt it that you feel like there's a giant hole within you? A darkness inside that smothers you like a blanket. Usually they try to cover the feeling by using drugs or alcohol or exercise to find brief moments of happiness... or maybe just moments of less darkness.
If this is you, I'll tell you what I've been telling my friend for the last year that I've known her...
You are beautiful.
You are a priceless treasure.
Your beauty and worth is not based on anything you've done. It's not based on how you look or how much you weigh or what you say or think.
Your beauty and worth is based on your Creator. You were made in His image-- pure love and light.
You are broken. But we all are broken. All of us are broken and in need of our Creator, our Father to gently pick us up, clean us out, and set our world right. He finds no fault in us. In His eyes, we are beautiful and pure and perfect. We don't need to work for His love, repay His love, earn His forgiveness. He heals our brokenness and covers our ugliness because of His great love for us. Because Jesus willingly chose to give His life, to be punished instead of us. And through this great gift we can find healing.
You will be ok. Everything will be ok. Just hold on. Share your pain, your struggle, your journey with others.
You are not alone.
You have a great hope and a future.
You are dearly loved.
*Update: she is awake and alive, physically. But still so very raw inside.